Saturday, April 26, 2008

Pink Flowers

Yesterday during my long sit at the college studying... studying... studying... I took a short moment to peer out the window.

Where my study carole was situated right next to a window overlooking a row of flowers below me. It was then when I saw the most precious thing... I think it genuinely was the high point of my entire day. A little girl, skipping alongside her mom, with excited about the whole world around her, actually stopped to stick her nose deep inside this larger pink flower to take a good long smell. She then continued on.

Now, although I understand that there is a natural sense of cynicism and boring demeanor does seem to take on us as we grow up, I wish that I could see people my age doing that sort of thing. I think it's a loss of wonder over the world that we start to pick up... I know I have, for example I used to find a pile of logs in our yard fascinating as I grew up... my sister and I affectionately referred to it as "Grasshopper" because we conceived it to look like a massive grasshopper in our vibrant imaginations. I used to spend hours playing outside, and one of my favorite spots was a rock that I appropriately dubbed "Big Rock". One of my favorite sites to set up camp in my romps through the world. Nowadays, I know I've definitely become more consumed with matters of entertainment that other people have prepared for me, or worrying myself with the current events of friends or with preoccupying myself in front of a screen. I wish I could tap back into a sense of wonder, a sense of appreciation for the simple things. I used to, I do sometimes... but not as often as I need to.

Yesterday I walked past those flowers without thinking about smelling them... even in those few hours I had forgotten.

Today, someone had smashed them to bits.

Listening to: Joshua Radin

Monday, April 21, 2008

Proud citizen of the Procrasti Nation

Yikes.... Although this is the worst possible thing I could decide to do right now... I've been meaning to sign on and write a blog for weeks now and kept... well, not.

SO! Procrastination commencing, I'm currently "studying" for one of my upcoming exams, Philosophy fun fun, however the topics aren't particularly fascinating to write one, fun to discuss... but essays are never the top of my list for pastimes.

Thats boring... onto more exciting topics, yesterday after work I stopped the car at the top of my driveway to watch the neighbor dog hunt gophers.

Not very exciting either... I feel as if I am running out of things to talk about...that hardly seems possible though, maybe just exciting things to talk about, instead I'm wasting YOUR time talking about gopher hunting jack sparriers.

Actually... on the note of gophers however, my house has recently been surrounded by all sorts of animals, deer on the lawn, gophers in the ground, pheasants cruising about, robins hitting windows. Spring is here, despite the crazy weather we've been having in the last few days, it snowed on Saturday, and hailed on friday! Something isn't right there...
In other musings....
I don't think it's fair to clump finals into this big slot of time AFTER classes are finished. I mean.... there was this horrible false sense of cheer the other day when I walked out of my final class for the semester.... only to realize that I now have two weeks of "false" break time, where I can't ask prof's for clarification, and I have entire days to study left wholly to my own discipline (very weak discipline at times as you can see...). Then there is this looming sense of dread for each approaching exam... sure I can be calmed by some sort of procrastination or distraction, but that hardly helps. Oh well, I'm not the only one in this situation I know that.

What will be nice, is the reward following my final exam on the 29th, FOR on the 30th is a concert that I have been anticipating for the longest time. For the past.... maybe 4 years now I've been wanting to see this one band live, As I Lay Dying. Even before the days of facebook and even before Myspace, (in the age when everyones "personalized internet outreach to the world" was their MSN messenger profile), my profile showed my "personal website" to be a music video of this very band playing live. (The song "Forever" to be exact, much to some friends dismay who hated that style of music and were horrified to find that I somehow found it appealing).
Anyways, I have been waiting for that long to see this band play live, sure they had come to BC before, but I hadn't been able to make it to those shows, work or school or whatever the reason had been. Anyways... finally, the one BC tour that I would be able to make it to, they are not only coming at a VERY convenient time, BUT they are also coming to Kelowna. Huz. Zah.

Now granted... we jumped the gun a bit on this one and bought tickets for the Vancouver show before realizing they were coming to a venue 15 min drive away.... BUT that's all been solved now, and on the 30th I will indulge myself with a very late night, not worrying about any school the next day.. and definitely not worrying about any final exams....

On that note... back to worrying about final exams.

**PS. Oh! Vanessa... Apparently I need to ask permission to view your blog now... this is me, asking.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Leaping Years

I can't tell if a year is in fact a long time....

I mean, I feel so tempted to say "only a year" becuase it seems like that doesn't it? It was only a year ago that _________, insert whatever you were up to this time last year.

Now when talking about it, it doesn't feel like that long, however when I try to remember it, it seems like so much longer than that.    Tricky.

I mean, a year is only really a few months, and we count down months like no tommorow, this many till birthday, this many till christmas, this many till summer or this many until that new CD comes out, nothing right?  only 4 weeks in a month, only 12 months in a year... 56 weeks really isn't that much...

And then at the same time... I mean... a whole year!! one year.  I only have about 20 of them in my entire life experience... less!! So really... one year is a large chunk of my life! One year can't be a trivial thing like "12 months" seems, 365 days? we breeze through those 7 at a time!!  But it is... it's a whole year, and we only have had so many.... remember how they used to seem so much longer? 

And to think.... For example, I'm looking forward to 'The Dark Knight' coming out... that is 107 days away from now, thats a few months... 4ish to be exact... thats about 1/3rd of a year.... a year, which I've only ever had 19.5 of...  WHY am I counting down the days for this!??! Why am I not stressing out about every second lost.... every day passing until yet another year has passed.... What was I doing that time last year?  What will I be doing one year this time!  How much happens in a year?  We'd like to think alot.. but in the grand scheme of things not as much.

I don't know, a year?  Really? wow.